Zaraki v Ares
by Neko4DKawaii-desu
Summary: A fanfic you do not want to read
**Hey there people of the fanfiction community. So I would like to tell each and every one of you guys that I've kinda gotten into a very bad situation right now with my father being admitted to the hospital for a knee surgery.**

 **This is to inform you guys that there might be no update for a while. Until my dad is well and good, I won't distract myself with gibberish chapters. I wanna be there for him completely as he has been there for me.**

 **But before I go, I just wanted to post this crazy idea that just popped up in my mind for a one-shot and I was like 'Let's see how this will turn out. I'll be out for some time anyway so let me give you guys a crack fic.'**

 **This whole one-shot is gibberish and nothing follows canon, alright. So don't come biting me in the ass with reviews saying that it has no significance to any timeline.**

 **So on with this craziness!**

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There were not many things Kenpachi Zaraki liked as much as fighting someone powerful to the death.

Whether that fight was with Ichigo, which turned out to be a draw, or Nnoitora or with Unohana whom he defeated to obtain what every Shinigami used.

A Shikhai.

Kenpachi Zaraki thought of a Zanpakuto as nothing more than a tool so it was pretty surprising even for him when he called out the name. The actual name of his Zanpakuto whom he heard in the last moments of Unohana's death by his own sword. And by his own to hands.

He could respect that.

And respect from Kenpachi Zaraki didn't come easily. It would be easier to say that there were no people whom he gave respect to, other than his lieutenant,Kurosaki Ichigo, the Captain Commander, and the dead Retsu Unohana.

Even that betraying prick Sosuke Aizen didn't enter the list because in his own words, 'He is a Pussy.' Enough said.

Although all this aside, there were things though that Kenpachi very much disliked, and the situation he was in was one of those things.

He was standing in the middle of a room, with his torn and shredded off shihakusho barely covering his manhood, which was immaculate white and surrounded by tall, huge figures. He looked around and thought, 'Where the fuck am I?'

"Intruder!" a booming voice called out surprisingly although Zaraki didn't give him any reaction and kept looking around the place he so accurately dubbed as an 'Eyesore'.

"What's with this fucking walls?! They are so bright, I can't even see your asses!" was what Zaraki replied with.

A thunder bolt stuck him from out of nowhere and a huge explosion occurred, ripping the curtains of the walls, with debris flying everywhere and the pillars gaining cracks and dents. The occupants of the room all gripped the helm of their sits lest they all fly away from the shockwave that emerged from the blast just now. All except one, who looked at the explosion with glee.

He was the God of War, Ares.

"Zeus! What is the meaning of this?! You damaged Olympus!" yelled a voice. He was shown to be a man who had aged but not so much, he had a beard and wore a crown of the purest amethyst color to have ever been seen. He wore a regal robe and armor. This was Poseidon. God of the Seas and Storms and brother to the now named Zeus. King of Gods and Thunder.

Zeus, who wore brilliant glittering armor of gold with a robe made of pristine white color and a crown fitting of the Kings, just callously turned his head towards the smoke and dust where his thunder struck.

He thought he had won until there came a low chuckle, which gradually grew into a full on laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Every occupant of the room turned to look at the receding dust and saw Zaraki emerge who was charred from his shoulder to the waist but other than that showed no sign of pain but excitement. He slowly grinned his signature grin and said in a low voice, "That was a pretty nice shot. Hehehe. Well then.." he gripped his zanpakuto, "… you ready to fight?!"

Every eyes of the gods and goddesses there grew wide as they saw him emerge still grinning and asking for a fight.

"I don't know where the fuck I am but I see that you guys have power and ain't afraid to use it. So.." Zaraki took slow steps and started to come out of the crater. "… lets fight!" and with that he disappeared to reappear in front of Zeus and swing his zanpakuto over his enormous body but then suddenly Zeus glowed and Zaraki had to close his eyes for a second.

Then came a punch which Zaraki easily stopped due to his hardened battle instincts and kicked the head of Zeus, who now resembled a normal human size.

"What? You turned puny. Now where's the fun in that?!" Zaraki said and grinning he flew towards the falling Zeus but was struck in the head suddenly from his right and he flew through one of the pillars.

It was Poseidon, who now knelt beside the bleeding Zeus and asked, "Are you ok brother?"

"Yes, I.." he was cut off when he heard the laughter of Ares who flew towards the damaged pillar with excitement and bloodlust.

Zaraki emerged from the dust unscathed.

"So you are alive still." Ares spoke when he came near Zaraki. Zaraki looked at him and just scoffed. "Who are you asshat?"

Ares' eyes glowed. "You dare insult me! A god!" he threw a punch and Zaraki was drilled through two more walls. "I am Ares, the God of War! You insect dare insult me!"

Ares disappeared into the damaged walls. Zeus came running with his Thunder bolt in his hands and Poseidon followed with his trident. They ere joined by the other gods who appeared one by one.

"Who is that person?" asked Hera, the wife of Zeus and queen of Olympus.

"I don't know, but his aura. It reeked of bloodlust." Zeus replied.

"Could it be one of Gaia's off springs? Or a runaway Titan?" asked Hermes.

"I don't know. Gather everyone! He seems to be a threat if he withstood my Thunderbolt. I'm going after Ares." Zeus said but before he could run into the blackness, Ares came out flying and embedded himself in one of the walls of Olympus.

"God of War? Tch. You ain't no fucking God of War!" they heard someone speak and out came Zaraki, tearing through them and picking up Ares by the collar of his armor and proceeded to punch him but he was kicked from behind by Hermes. Zaraki looked t the new arrival with glee and prepared for a battle.

That is when Ares growled and shoved Hermes aside yelling, "Get the heck out of the way Messenger man! This is my fight. My Fight!" turning to the other gods. "And if anyone interferes, you will die! Whether you are my family or not!" he sneered and put up a barrier of light crimson color.

"NO! Ares!" Zeus called out but he couldn't pass through or break down the barrier.

"Zeus! It's of no use! Ares gains power the more battle crazy someone becomes or the more battle is prolonged! Right now, his power exceeds yours! You cannot break that barrier!" Poseidon screamed.

Zeus gritted his teeth and backed away.

All of the other gods and goddesses, including the girlfriend of one war god watched on with glee. There were two lights and as it glimmered, Artemis and her huntress lieutenant Zoë emerged and both ran towards the group.

"What is happening?" Artemis asked but as she turned to the barrier she knew exactly what was going on.

"There was an intruder in Olympus." Poseidon replied.

Inside the barrier both Ares and Zaraki looked at each other. The former with anger and rage, the latter with excitement and satisfaction.

"I am he God of War! You should bow before me now that I'm stronger due to our battle. Bow down insect!"

Zaraki grinned and replied, "God of War? What a bitchass title you got. It's got no fucking flare. And I betcha can't cut me. Show me your power God of War! Cut me and we'll see!"

Outside, for reasons unknown, Aphrodite was turned on by that exclamation and she licked her lips gazing at the half naked Zaraki.

Ares summoned a European styled golden broadsword and leapt at Zaraki while Zaraki stood there grinning. As Ares sweung his blade down the chest of Zaraki, he was shocked at the fact that his sword didn't go through the body of Zaraki as planned.

Zaraki smirked at that and swung his zanpakuto horizontally to try cutting his head off but Ares jumped back. Zaraki laughed like crazy and said, "See that punk! If you can't cut me, how the fuck are you gonna kill me!"

And Zaraki swung his zanpakuto again in a sideways pattern from the down to up. Ares dodged but he saw the pillar behind him get destroyed in the same direction as the sword was swung. His eyes widened. Zaraki kept grinn9ng and rushed towards Ares with zanpkauto ready to strike. He swung it vertically from above and Ares blocked it but the zanpakuto of Zaraki sliced through the broadsword and Ares' armor gained a vertical slash and cracked.

He was pushed back a bit. But Ares' hand glowed and he screamed, "War God's Fist!" and he punched Zaraki in the face. Zaraki was launched from his position and hit his back in the barrier. The barrier wobbled a bit but steadied.

"You puny little insect! You cut me! Destroy my armor! You shall pay!" Ares' hands glowed and several weapons emerged all around him. He created many hundred of them and, "Kingdom of Blades!"

All the weapons simultaneously converged at a point and struck. There was a huge explosion and Olympus shook. Ares sneered and summoned another weapon. This time it was a huge baseball bat with different Latin motifs all over. As the dust cleared, Kenpachi emerged; his body marred with deep cuts and slashes. He was bleeding profusely from all over his body. His eyes glowed yellow and he grinned.

"It's been a long time since someone cut me up like this. Last I was like this, I remember it was Ichigo who did this to me."

His reiatsu concentration increased and grinned wider, "But it still doesn't compare to him!"

And yellow reiatsu covered his body and a figure of skull emerged behind his back which was screaming in agony and torment. As if he wanted to taste the blood of his enemies. His zanpakuto was glowing in anticipation that it will somehow taste the blood of his opponent.

Zaraki whispered, "Let's do this. Nome, Nozarashi (Drink, Weather Beaten One.)"

A burst of yellow reiatsu filled the eyes of all the gods and goddesses while Aphrodite was getting wetter and wetter by each passing moment.

As their vision cleared, they saw Zaraki now held a battle axe of enormous size with a tassel of fur extending out from the handle and a guard at the forefront of the axe. The handle was covered in bandages and all in all, it looked like a terrifying weapon.

Ares watched it and grinned, "I guess you aren't an insect after all. Well then!"

He also glowed as the others thought 'He is going into God Mode.'

Zaraki squinted his eyes at the sight and as the light dimmed, Ares was now covered in a blood red armor that had covered his every being. From head to toe. His chest plate was jutting out and his shoulder blades had two spikes jutting out. Numerous amount of weapon hung at his back.

Zaraki grinned and leaped at him, with Ares going for it too. Both slashed down with their weapons and a huge explosion occurred.

After a moment, both were seen stumbling out of the dust with Zaraki panting and Ares having his armor cracked which shocked the whole pantheon. Ares asked, "How were you able to get my armor to crack? No way!"

Zaraki said, "There is nothing in this world my blade can't cut. I am Kenpachi Zaraki."

With that said, Zaraki again jumped at Ares, swinging his battle axe which Ares summoned a shield and tried blocking it. It did but only for a moment as it cracked up and Ares was sent flying away.

"Where's that pompous ass speech of yours now God of War?! Did it fucking die away with your loss!" Zaraki yelled and swung down his battle axe and created a crater all around him. Ares jumped back again, dodging it.

"What the heck are you dodging for? Fight me head on squirt!"

Zaraki turned and reappeared in front of Ares and punched him in the face. Ares was sent flying away again. Zaraki kept grinning. "I thought you said this fight was to death. You're gonna die real quick if you don't fucking fight back!"

Ares called on all his powers and converged it into a single point of his summoned sword. He stood there motionless and Zaraki grinned. "Going all out for one last shot. Give me your best, God of War."

And both leaped towards each other and swung down their respective weapons.

An enormous explosions shook the whole of Olympus, who's shocks could be felt down to the underworld and the earthland and even into the depths of Tartaros. The gods and goddesses all were face planted due to the amount of pressure in the air by the attacks, whereas others, Aphrodite for example, just had the most amazing orgasm ever.

As the dust cleared from the field, there stood Zaraki, hefting his battle axe on his shoulder. He just scoffed at the dead god before him.

"He is dead? No! It can't be! Gods cannot die!"

Zaraki turned to them and just looked at them with apathy, "There is nothing in this world my blade can't cut and there's no person in this world that won't die by my blade. That is what a Kenpachi is."

Just then a pillar of light covered Zaraki and everyone had to squint they're eyes. And when the light was gone, so was Zaraki.

That day Olympus cried for the death of a God.

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 **OOOooooookkkkkk, is it me, or does everyone feel weirded out by that one-shot. That came out totally bad but c'mon damn it! I spent three hours in this. Give me some credit.**

 **You know what guys, don't even bother reading this fic. I'm just gonna leave it here until it rots away.**

 **And also, don't forget, I will be uploading new chapters but after the hiatus. So till then, bear with my stories.**

 **Ja ne!**


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